All Hail the Almighty Log!
by Aorta Heartless
Summary: A story of how the Log has saved Konoha nins everywhere. Rated M for Langauge
1. Chapter 1

All Hail Our Savior the LOG!

_I must prove to Aorta that the Log is all Powerful…_

"''he despaired, for in this place of stone and earth, there was no logs to be found. reaching out with all his might, he begged for a log in the forsaken wasteland. and he was answered, and saved by the log, in a place where there were none.  
-book of the log, wanderers saga, verses 7-9"

The Konoha Jounin ran, dodging jutsu, shuriken, and kunai alike.

"Where are you going, _Yellow Flash_?" The Iwa nin taunted. "Sinkhole no jutsu!"

"Shit!" Minato Namikazi said as he fell, instinctively he called. "Kawarimi!"

Both of the ninja were shocked as the Jutsu, that had become almost has hated as the Hiraishin No Jutsu, worked.

"It worked." The future Hokage whispered. "Thank you, Holy Log."

Minato continued run hoping to get to cover before the Iwa nin recovered.

'I will repay you, Log.' He thought. 'I will protect the forests and its people.'

A scream of rage made him run faster. "DAMN YOU NAMIKAZI! DAMN YOU AND YOU DAMNED LOG!"

Minato Namikazi halted at the attack on the name of the Log. "I cannot condone those words. You will pay."

The Iwa nin was surprised at the anger the Yellow Flash showed at those words, and remembered his opponent's reputation.

"You have insulted the closest thing we have to a god." He continued. "You will not live to see another day." The blonde seemed to disappear.

"I thought he had used all of them." The Iwa nin said.

"I don't need the Hiraishin to be fast." A voice said behind him. "With your provisions and clothes I should be able to get home."

The Iwa nin's eyes widened as he saw what few others had seen, a truly angry Minato Namikazi.

After 10 minutes of off screen ownage, the Yellow Flash was sealing the body in a scroll. "Forgive for taking your clothes."

_**1 week later.**_

"Sensei!" Kakashi said knocking over a tired Minato.

"Kashi-kun?" he said.

"Yes?" the child replied.

"Could you help me get home?" Minato said as he decided that being unable to raise his head to be a very bad thing. "Or to a hospital? Scratch going home. I need true medical care."

"Hai!" Kakashi was frightened that his Sensei, who had taken many major injures with no real bother before, had asked to be taken to a hospital.

"Dehydration, Chakra and normal exhaustion." Minato said in an attempt to calm his last student. "I ran a very long way without pause."

"But," Kakashi said.

"Hospital, ASAP." Minato said before surrendering to the darkness that had been demanding his attention for the last two days.

"!" Kakashi picked up the older nin and ran as fast as he could to the closest field hospital.

Kakashi was at first not allowed into the hospital due to the fact that it looked like he had a dying Iwa nin on his shoulder.

"But I swear, it's Minato-sensei!" He said.

"Shit! It is. In, in!" The Medic nin said. "NOW!"

OW!"Medic nin said. "ke he had a dying Iwa nin on his shoulder.

manding his attention for the last two days.

"I'm in, I'm in!" Kakashi said entering and setting Minato down carefully. "He said that it was dehydration and Charkra Exhaustion and normal exhaustion. I didn't ask why he's in Iwa nin clothes!"

"Back!" She said. Kakashi obeyed.

_**5 hours later**_

"He'll be fine, but he _will_ be banned from missions for 2 weeks." The Medic said. "Why do the strong have to be such morons!"

_**1 week later.**_

"I am going to go INSANE without _something_ to do." Minato said banging his head against the desk. 'I hate desk duty. He's doing to this to torment me, I know it!'

"It's only a week more Minato-kun." The Sandaime Hokage said.

"What can I do that's _not_ paperwork?" Minato glared at his ultimate boss.

"You can babysit for the Uchiha." He said trying to not laugh at the look of horror on the blondes face.

"Not Itachi." Minato said. "You don't know what tha-that creature can do!"

"My _son_ is not a creature, Minato Namikazi." Fugaku Uchiha said. "Just because you had trouble with him do-"

"So has Kushina, Jiraiya, Kakashi, most of the ANBU have had trouble with him!" Minato said. "I swear that boy will end up a mass murder before he hits 15!"

"Hn." Fugaku showed his fluency in Uchiha-ese.

_That's it for now. This will be more of a series of oneshots… Why Minato was so far behind enemy lines I don't know._


	2. Chapter 2

All Hail the Almighty Log!

_Orochimaru realizes the price of betraying the Log and its minions (read Konohagakure)._

_Mwhahaha! Aorta has yet to find this story's documents._

"You are a fool, Orochimaru!" Hiruzen Sarutobi said.

"Kukuku, no, Sensei, you are! Protecting these poor deluded fools." Orochimaru said. "Worshiping a pathetic piece of _wood_."

A gasp of shock went through the crowd.

"He is truly mad, to insult the Log!" a random Chunin said

"Not only mad but a fool! That kind of insult will not go unpunished." A Jounin said.

"Katon: Gokakyu no Jutsu!" Fugaku Uchiha attacked.

Orochimaru dodged the fire ball. "I didn't know that even you Fugaku were so weak."

_**20 years later Chunin Exams 2**__**nd**__** test**_

"Kage Bunshin!" Naruto cried dog piling the Sannin, holding him down.

"Katon: Gokakyu no Jutsu!" Sasuke unknowingly copied his father.

"Futon: Hitofuki no Jutsu!" Naruto amplified his teammates Jutsu

"Kawarimi!" Orochimaru said, eyes widening when the Jutsu did not work. "Shit." The combined Jutsus hit the Snake Sannin frying him.

'Kawarimi didn't work?' Sasuke thought.

'The Log abandoned him. That must be why the Log did not come.' Naruto, a devote worshiper, thought.

"Impressive." Orochimaru said.

"Again Dobe, Katon: Gokakyu no Jutsu!" Sasuke yelled

"Futon: Hitofuki no Jutsu!" Naruto said.

This time it gained the effect the boys wanted. Orochimaru was now too hurt to move.

'I can't even use body shedding.' Orochimaru thought.

"Brats, you two did this?" Anko Mitarashi said.

"Sword of Kusanagi: Long Sword of the Heavens!" Orochimaru said in a last ditch attempt to escape.

"Kage Bunshin!" Naruto said stopping the swords momentum.

"Good bye, Orochimaru-Sensei." Anko spit out his former title as she took the sword and swung it, decapitating the Snake Sannin.

"Holy Log, we beat one of the Sannin!" Naruto declared.

"And the only Jutsu beyond D-rank was you Shadow Clones…" Sasuke was now sitting down. "Where's Sakura?"

A scream of terror caused Sasuke and Naruto to sweatdrop.

"There she is." They said in unison.

"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu." Naruto said creating ten Bunshin. "Go get Sakura."

"Hai!" the Narutos said jumping down.

"Your teammate sucks that much?" Anko said now stabbing the body many times.

"Isn't that overkill?" Naruto asked looking over to the less-than-sane woman.

"For what he did, nothing is overkill." The sadistic woman replied.

Three Bunshin came back one carrying a scroll one carrying a beat up Sakura and the third carrying several packs. "Sakura had nearly won her fight. The team had 8 scrolls."

"You got them all?" Naruto said showing his evil side.

"Yes. 3 Heaven and 5 earth." The Bunshin said. "We also left them with enough supplies to either make it to the tower or last the remaining days."

"Why did you leave them the supplies?" Anko asked.

"We want them defeated, not dead." Bunshin 2 said.

"Hn." Sasuke said flopping back, despite having Naruto backing him he was tired.

"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu." Naruto said. "To the tower!" Deciding that staying with Anko Mitarashi any longer than necessary was not a good idea for one's health.

By the time Bunshin had gotten Team 7 to the Tower, the three were rested.

"So what do we do with the scrolls?" Sakura said.

"Let's get inside first." Sasuke said going inside.

Once inside Team 7 decided to open the scrolls after a few minutes debate.

*POOF* "You passed!" Iruka Umino said to Team 7.

"Iruka-Sensei!" Naruto said glomping his friend. "What are you doing here?"

"Simple making sure you don't cheat." The Chunin explained.

"Cheat?"

"The point of this test was to see if you could not open a scroll until the correct time and place."

"What would have happened if we had opened before now?" Sakura asked.

"You would've been knocked out and disqualified." Iruka was serious.

"Are we allowed to take scrolls from more than one team?" Naruto asked.

"Yes you are, why?" Iruka was curious.

"I came across a team with 8 scrolls." Saukra said.

"And Sakura did really well! She nearly had them beat when I came to help." Naruto said. "Or as my clones came to help."

"I've been training elsewhere." Sakura said. "Mostly getting my reserves up and in Medical and Genjutsu."

"Awesome!" Naruto said. "I mean really we would need a medic on our team. Given the fact that Sasuke and I are brawlers."

"When did you start?" Sasuke asked.

"Just after the Mission in Wave country." Sakura replied. "Can we go get some sleep now?"

"I'm assuming you took all of the team's scrolls?" Iruka asked. "And no it's not cheating, it's just making it so there's less competition."

"Yeah, we took 'em." Naruto said getting them out, and handing them over.

"Go get some rest." Iruka said. "You'll need it."

"What's with the inscription?" Sasuke said before the Chunin could leave.

*Insert inscription+Explanation*

"Huh." Naruto said.

"Go and rest. You'll need it." Iruka said poofing away before they could ask anymore questions.

_Orochimaru go bye-bye! Heed this warning. NEVER betray the Log. Or it may aba-_

**Tamesis. **

_A-aorta?_

**I respect your **_**religion**_** but I think it is foolish.**

_Can I keep doing these?_

**Yes, since you'll do them anyways.**


End file.
